Apparently you make a good broom.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
