On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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