just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
