He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
