I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
