There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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