Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
