Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
