I want to stick my p in your. b.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
