I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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