Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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