Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
