You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who did Billy Mays play for?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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