Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
