Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The struggles of a small town man whore
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
