Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
