I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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