i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
