My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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