I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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