So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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