He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
