Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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