I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
