i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
