Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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