i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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