Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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