How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
