thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
