in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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