stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
