woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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