I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
