ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
