he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
