how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
