I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
