do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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