Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
