I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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