she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
