Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
