Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
