Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't deserve a penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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