My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
