I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
