I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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