If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
