I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
