i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
