pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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